Fathom

 I cannot tell why He whom angels worship
Should set His love upon the sons of men
Or why, as shepherd, He should seek the wanderers
To bring them back, they know not how or when
But this I know, that He was born of Mary
When Bethlehem's manger was His only home
And that He lived at Nazareth and laboured
And so the Saviour, Saviour of the world is come.

I cannot tell how silently He suffered
As with His peace He graced this place of tears
Or how His heart upon the cross was broken
The crown of pain to three and thirty years
But this I know, He heals the broken-hearted
And stays our sin and calms our lurking fear
And lifts the burden from the heavy laden
For yet the Saviour, Saviour of the world is here.

I cannot tell how all the lands shall worship
When at His bidding every storm is stilled
Or who can say how great the jubilation
When all the hearts of men with love are filled
But this I know, the skies will thrill with rapture
And myriad, myriad human voices sing
And earth to heaven, and heaven to earth will answer
At last the Saviour, Saviour of the world is King!

This hymn has been looping in my head since Thursday 
when I had a short session with my CG, reading and meditating on Isaiah 40.
The reason why I chose Isaiah 40 was because of the last 2 verses which
I trust would encourage my members and myself as we go through this period of examinations.
But God revealed to me more than just the last two verses.

In verse 28, the last part goes "...and his understanding no one can fathom."
It really stuck me at that moment how...
"He whom angels worship, Should set His love upon the sons of men"
 
The thought of the Almighty God, who's greatness is described throughout the 
entire chapter of Isaiah 40, would give Himself up that we, sinners can have everlasting life
is just mind blowing and sometimes I find it hard to comprehend myself because for humans, 
such love is just quite impossible to put in practice. 
Imagining putting myself at some high ranking spot, and for me to love ALL the low ranks is just impossible to be achieved.

And as Tze Phei, Vinod and I continue to share our thoughts during the CG meeting, 
Another hymn comes to mind:

For God so loved the world, I find it written
In verse sixteen, John's Gospel chapter three
He gave His Son, Who was for sinners smitten
When nailed upon the Cross of Calvary
Such wondrous love! It passes human knowledge
For Jesus died that we might ever live
Eternal life, that none need ever perish
This life to all believing souls He now will give

 


Such wondrous love indeed that God had for us.
I really marveled at the thoughts that God has put in my head 
for the past week even in the midst of busyness. 
And it was indeed really encouraging as 
I see the Lord 'planting my feet on higher ground' :)


 

Here and There

Hellooooo *echo* ooooooo *echo* *echo*
Sigh, blogging. Susah sangat nak keep a blog alive.
Wonder how I did it with my old one. Just can't find time these days.
Out at 9am, back at evening then will be doing work and when there is me time,
blogging is always at the end of the list. LOL

Anyways, just a quick update on whats been going on.
Currently end of week 7 on semester 2. *phew*
Finished 2 midterm papers this week. How was it?
Pretty good I would say. Well, that's what I thought, results belum tahu LOL

Well, things learned this week...programming really comes from practice.
Not memorizing like I always did before.

Before the paper itself, I wrote several programs on my own as practice.
Well, my programs only does one thing...store student name, id, marks and grade
although they're implemented in different ways. Hehe. And guess what, the midterm
question  requires us to code a program which does almost exactly the same thing! Win!

Ah, and I had a long Thursday, 9am-5pm class and then midterm exam from 8-9pm.
Came back home and continue studying till 2am then went off to bed.
Was suppose to have my final lab session on Friday 9 am....when I woke up...

10.30 am. *FLIPS TABLE* Walaueh, tidor mati sial. *emo*
Ahh well, emailed the lecturer already and I gonna get my application approved this Monday.
Thank the Lord really :)

Anyways, some random stuffs from last month...
Su Mei jie gave me a box of brownies with a "Happy Studying" note on it. Haha
Encouragement to study LOL I ate one after every chapter I covered when
I was doing my revision the next day XD Thanks jie!

And a new addition to the weekend home.
Soo Aun kor's and Cheryl jie's new pet dog. Cookie!
First day - we had problem with the name and sex of the dog.
Name is Cookie but it's a male. So Cheryl jie was like
"So cute lah she~ oops! He!"

 

Cookeh Monsta!

And fun fact of the month of November....
I almost ruin someone's marriage proposal plan HAHAHAHAHAH!
Well, not knowingly and unintentionally XD
Only found out like 20 days after the proposal LOL!
Ask me about it HAHA!


Alright, guess thats about it for now. Suhleeps!
YA dinner with the senior adults tomorrow. Excited!

Holding Pattern

"The flight is nearly over, the plane has begun its descent towards the destination when you feel it 
being pull up again, bank, and begin to circle. An announcement comes over the intercom..."Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Due to heavy incoming traffic, the tower has assigned us a holding pattern" People groan. You look out the window to the same scenery you saw 15 minutes ago. You think of the person waiting at the airport for you. You look at your watch try to figure what will happen if you don't make your connection or appointment. You hope the captain will tell you exactly how long will it be before landing. How long is this circling going to go on?"  
- Passion & Purity by Elizabeth Elliot


The moment when you can relate and you just stoned there 
reading the same paragraph over and over again. Heh.

-----

In His time, In His Time 

He makes all things beautiful in His time.

Lord please show me every day 

As your teaching me Your way 

That You do just what You say In Your time. 

In Your time, In Your Time 

You make all things beautiful in Your time.

Lord my life to You I bring

May each song I have to sing 

Be to you a lovely thing In Your time. 

-----

"How long, Lord, must I wait?
             Never mind child...Trust me." :)

I Miss You

First time listening to this song although I'm a huge fan of Incubus.
Simply cause this song isn't in any of their albums that I have.
Amazing as always.

17:17 on 17th

A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

- Proverbs 17:17 -

I woke up this morning having visualized long and tiring schedule in my head
the moment I open my eyes. Class has started, and at the same time, I have to gear up for my supplementary paper which is most probably this Thursday, or not, on Friday.

I forced myself up at 8, did my devotion and then off to the world of Mathematica.
Slain some differential peons and 15 minutes into game, my brain just couldn't take it.
It felt so heavy so I decided to back to bed at 9.

I woke up 12 minutes later from a sms from a friend. Spent some time reading it and was very touched and encouraged at the same time to push on forward for the rest of the day. Out of bed and to the study table again. Class starts at 12 so I got a couple of hours to slain more mathematicians
(as in citizens of Mathematica, not human mathematicians LOL. Lame.)

Not too long later, another friend, came and talk to me on the online messenger.
He started the conversation with this:

"Beh yau kin la
fail liau hafto stand up back
mai hao
lai koko sayang"

Translation:
Nevermind lah
Failed already have to stand back up
Don't Cry
(And this part I don't really know how to put it LOL)

Basically...
Lai - Come
Koko - Elder brother
Sayang - Comfort/love

Go figure.

Upon reading that, it cheered me up and made my day haha.
I just laughed so hard in from of the monitor cause
those lines are usually said by a mum to a child.
Well, change the 'koko' to mama/mummy/mum.

The day goes on as usual, classes (am glad to see familiar faces in class)
and then at night, its the library camping time again. Had a very early dinner, like 5.40+pm and headed to the library at around 7 pm.

Toiled and toiled and of course the stomach start making noise and I was already starting making plans of where to get food. So the mind has been set, Cyberia Mart - Bread. It was 11.15-ish when I was about done and gonna leave when a friend called.

He said he just wanna visit me and he was at my house front door.
Told him I'm still at the library and he said he'll meet me half way.
So packed my stuff and headed for home. Met my friend just outside the Cyberia back gate
and he passed me a paper bag, in it was FOOD!
Ahh food! I was just so happy at that moment. *Noms noms noms*

On the way back, there was just a big smile on my face and I just kept thanking the LORD
for my friends in my heart. Then back home, another friend sent another sms of encouragement. Again, I thanked the Lord over and over for the wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ that I have.

At this moment even as I am writing all of this out,
I really feel blessed with the awesome friends that I have.
What would I do without them. Thank you Lord =)

Funny, the verse on top, Proverbs 17:17. and the date this all happened is the 17th. Heh heh.

Not An Option

Been a pretty long day really.
Visited Logos Hope today with the KGC peeps.
Got a couple of good books and a few CDs at a pretty cheap price.
And I went for the ship tour which is really interesting really.
Got to know a lil bit of how everything runs or go about in the ship.

The one that was pretty interesting was about dating
among the crew members haha. Where if a guy/girl crew would
like to date another girl/guy crew, he/she have to go through the
'guys' leader' and then the message will be passed to the 'girls' leader'
and the matchmaking process goes on from there. LOL.

So thats the happy part and well, it lasted till 6 pm when my
results were finally updated with the grades. Failed my engineering maths paper.
Which I really didn't see it coming cause I thought I did okay for that paper
but it was the other way round when I saw I passed my programming paper.

I don't know how to tell my parents really.
Growing up with a "Failure is not an option" dad,
telling him about this is like digging my own grave.
But I told him anyway. Through sms.

The call came an hour later when I was a the supermarket
picking up some bottles of water and some daily essentials.
Got a good drilling from dad, but it was all necessary.

I could have gone through with dad all the
"In my shoes, just to see, What it's like, to be me"
but I didn't. Cause deep down I know I screwed myself up.
From procrastination, hours thrown out the window
From gaming addiction, hours thrown out the window

Spent some alone time in the car.
Rain, tears and prayers, go figure.
That emo really. Not joking.

Praised and gave thanks to the LORD nonetheless for everything.
How I made it through 'Hell Week', all praise to Him.
The other 4 papers which I passed, all praise to Him.
The wake up call, gave thanks.

After that I head back to my weekend home and here I am,
ranting....so I can feel a lil better after pouring my heart out.
Argh! Time to gear up for the supplementary paper!
BRING ETTTTTTTTT ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!


On quite related stuff, I read this quote from Jup kor's email moments ago.

Trouble and prayer are closely related to each other. Prayer is of great value to trouble. Trouble often drives men to God in prayer, while prayer is but the voice of men in trouble. There is great value in prayer in the time of trouble. Prayer often delivers out of trouble, and still oftener gives strength to bear trouble, ministers comfort in trouble, and begets patience in the midst of trouble. Wise is he in the day of trouble who knows his true source of strength and who fails not to pray. (E.M. Bounds - The Essentials of Prayer)

Comforting. Encouraging.
Amazing how things 'happen by chance'.
Nope, I don't believe in chance :)

Eagles

Right. Friday late night and I just finish covering Sequences & Series
for Engineering Maths I...after an hour of distressing by gaming.
Not as worst as I imagined. All thanks to PatrickJMT of YouTube.
He deserves a Noble Prize. Seriously.

Lifesaver!

Well, what's up for me?
FINALS NEXT WEEK.
STUDY WEEK COMING TO AN END.
FORCED TO SKIP KONG LEAN & JURVENA'S WEDDING (Congrats :))
JUST TO STICK TO MY STUDY SCHEDULE WHICH I APPARENTLY
IS LAGGING BEHIND BY A BIT. *SIGHHHH*

At this point, I questioned myself why I picked engineering in
the first place. I never liked maths...failed every single Add Maths paper
back in secondary school except for SPM which amazed me that I got an A-
and here I am...dealing with my nemesis which has become more complicated than before.

*Boom! Headshot*

Pretty stressed up and tired this week. So worried about everything.
Not the best method but worrying drives me to push myself to do more.
And I often find myself wrestling everything by myself again. *sigh*
When will I ever learn to trust God fully and just be like Israel (Jacob) clinging to Him.

Despite the burnout, God spoke and comforted me through His Word.
Was reading the BTGC prayer list email that Pei Ling sent.
And at the bottom of the mail (where the email signature is
and usually I don't bother about it but this time I did) there's
a Bible verse. Taken from Isaiah 40:30-31

"Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength,
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."

For man's strength will fail and cannot compare to God's and
those who trust in Him, He shall nourish their strength.
Such a comforting thought...continue to trust in Him I will :)

It's almost 4 am now and I still got tonnes to write but this will
have to do for now. Another long day tomorrow.
More maths, more equations, much more coding to do.